Originally Posted by
Berrybean 
I think the times I was selfish were when I put my own wantsover other people's needs.
Sounds like you are protecting sobriety, not being selfish. You are putting your needs over other people's wants. I reckon that's pretty sensible at the moment, and in the longer term your family and other people who loves you will benefit from you having a strong recovery.
Seeing everyone at once wouldn't be comfortable for you at the moment. I suppose if there is a compromise to be had, it might be that you arrange to see some of the family you're closest with in a non-threatening situation some time soon after the party. Also, a birthday card and gift for the 18th birthday sent in a timely fashion should reassure that you're not dismissing their celebration.
Yeah well, with my extended family I used to see them a lot.
I used to look after my cousin when she was a baby and a little girl, went on holiday with them etc, but as everyone got older we just drifted apart, as you do.
I do think her Dad (so, my cousin too) has kept his distance since my problems so that irks me a little bit I suppose but not massively.
But anyway, I'm thankful I am very close to my parents who have been there 100% over the past few years even tho I've constantly let them down.
All the more reason to try and finally beat it this time!