Aussie 89,I see you are new to SR,welcome.
Non-Alcoholics do not have to control their drinking,end of.
You seem to be going to any lengths to prove to yourself that you can drink.I wish you well with it.
I have been sober over 13years and have lost count of those that I have known who have lost their lives to Alcoholism,it saddens me greatly when I read posts like yours.