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Old 10-13-2016, 07:02 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
BrendaChenowyth
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by stepaver14 View Post
My husband and I have been together for over 2 years. He is one year sober. Before this year of sobriety, he struggled with his alcoholism. It finally got to a point that he was in jeopardy of losing his family and children. When he became serious about getting sober, I made the decision to not drink around him either. So for the past year, I haven't had a drink around him. If I go out with girlfriends, I'll have a drink.

He has recently told me that I can drink around him as long as I'm not getting drunk. As much as I do miss my nightly glass of wine, I still feel uncomfortable drinking around him. He says that he appreciates me taking the plunge with him through his first year and not drinking. But he says he feels that I should be able to drink around him without it tempting him. How do others who have been in this situation feel? I feel really uncomfortable leaving alcohol in the house. I do not want to jeopardize his sobriety. I've never been in a situation like this and I'm not sure how to proceed.
Something feels sketchy to me about this. I'm sorry.

I couldn't care less whether people in my house are having drinks or not. The only person in my household that drinking is an issue for is me, the alcoholic. They CAN make the choice for themselves, but I also understand that they can and will go extended periods of time without drinking at all.. The alcoholic thinker thinks that abstinence is a drudgery they must go through and therefore if their need to abstain is causing someone else to abstain, why then that person must be feeling as deprived and distraught about it as we are.. But if we are recovering we should feel as though we're better off without it, and if we're better off without it, we have to know that others are better off without it... if we believe we are depriving others of something, then we must still feel that we are being deprived of something and this makes me think relapse in the future..

I'm reading way too much in to this maybe, but like I said, it gave me a sketchy vibe, and I would just be aware that his guilt over your not drinking has to do with his emotions towards alcohol and not yours. Someone in recovery from addiction to alcohol won't care what it's doing or where it's been or why it hasn't called in a while, because they've moved on.
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