I find it impossibly tedious to read paragraphs of that size... But I think I got the gist of it, which is that you and this guy are not compatible. He's an adult and you're still a kid. We don't think we're still kids when we're 20. I mean, it's not like we're teenagers anymore, that was months ago. We're in our twenties now. But a hell of a lot happens to a person in the course of their twenties, and the difference in maturity by the time you hit 30, you look back and realize it is night and day, you knew nothing back then. Anyway, you should be single right now and trying to figure out who YOU are, and you need to ditch this dude. You didn't need us to tell you that, because you feel something is wrong with the situation. So leave the situation.