Happy Thursday Everyone! Well, I'm happy to report noted progress. Today was a complete **** show at work. Our afternoon staff meeting turned super ugly as unaddressed underlying issues came to a head with a fury. Seriously, we were 1 clown short of a circus. People screaming, people crying, accusations flying. Holy Jerry Springer Show. 5 months ago I wouldn't have been able to deal. Cravings would've come on like a torrent, anxiety would've overwhelmed me, and I would've been caught up in the drama; hook, line, and sinker. 5 months ago I would've carried the day home with me and hit the bottle the second I walked through the door. My poor husband would've had to deal with me drunk reliving the entire ordeal. But not today
Today, I sat back, watched the wheels come off the proverbial wagon and remained sane. I could see through the anger and offense and it truthfully didn't affect me all that much.
As I drove home, replaying some of the particular funnier scenes in my mind; it hit me......I did not experience 1 craving during or after the entire episode, not 1. Holy-what is going on? Could it be? Progress? Yes! Yes people, this is huge! Not only did I not experience a craving but I managed my emotions and anxiety! Adulting! The fabled adulting! I did it! Woohoo!
Ok, all this being said. I'm not getting cocky. I could get cut off tomorrow morning on my way to work and victim story my way into thinking I'm justified in having a beer and then argue with my AV all day long.....it's happened. Just wanted to celebrate and share 1 small victory, 1 battle won. It's given my hope, a glimpse of what my future could be if I continue to fight for my own life, my own recovery, and may I say......it feels so worth it!