I'll add, staying up all night isn't atypical. I'm an insomniac, I stay up all night often, that's not why it's a terrible night.
It's more that I am trying to separate from my husband, we were supposed to be sleeping in separate rooms during the transitional period, until I get 'on my feet' (as if that's possible).
Right now he's in my bed snoring while I'm on the couch seething. I've been trying to do this (separate) for 10 years of over 12 years of marriage, I thought I finally conveyed how much I want this and he agreed to be supportive but... ugh, I feel like I have to run away, I have nowhere to go. My three options seem: hobo, mental asylum or suicide. I have no strength for this.
/end rant