hi asparagus
I felt that drinking me was the preferred me too - and like you, and I suspect many others, I remembered starting drinking to escape who I was.
A funny thing happened when I quit tho. I re-discovered a me I'd actually completely forgotten about, and I found I quite liked that person now with the benefit of a few years hindsight.
I had my problems sure but things like anxiety and depression can be dealt with in far more effective, and more positive and healthy ways than drinking.
I've never regretted becoming sober and I love the life I've built.
I know it's a leap of faith to stand there and contemplate the leap, but it really does work out.
I hope you'll join us
D