Alcohol, confused identity
I'm a 33 woman suffering crippling anxiety and depression and the only time I feel 'myself' is when I'm drunk. I started drinking heavily when I was 13 and have drunk heavily on and off since. Somehow, drunk me feels more 'authentic'.
The hangovers, the bruises, the vomit on the kitchen floor, I feel like this is who I really am. I have no real 'life'. I don't work, I'm trapped in a marriage, I'm suicidal.
I don't know how to give up alcohol when it feels like my only friend? I can't imagine ever having a 'normal' life.