Lol...
ONE MONTH after I sent XAH the email stating why the kids weren't coming (that I know he received because the next day DS14 told me Dad texted him and said it was okay if they didn't come), XAH sends me an email response. An entire month later.
Starting with the words "this is unfortunate", and quoting multiple exact dates that he texted the boys and dates where they said "yes", stating that he followed the exact same protocol as the last "several visits", so he's not sure "what went wrong there".
DS16 has been there ONCE. Not several times.
What's comical is that he's still laying out his legal case as to why it's simply not his fault, so it must be mine or the boys. Missing the entire point that he could make a different effort to come see his kids. Completely ignoring my suggestion that if he came to town they'd see him.
I wanted to share this here, because 3 years ago, this email would've sent me into a tailspin. Being terrified about the case against me he was lining up, etc...and I'd have believed his words and scrambled to write an email back to correct his gross inaccuracies so the truth is on paper.
As it is, I'm not only not worried about it, I'm not even planning to respond, as he asked no questions. And I actually grinned at the audacity of it. For those of you feeling trapped in an X's crazies, IT CAN GET BETTER!!! (HE isn't behaving better, but his ability to scare and control me is gone.)
He did say that he wasn't canceling their tickets in case they changed their minds. I showed his email to the boys and told them that this was his perception of their interactions, so it's imperative that they make sure they share things honestly with me when I need to communicate with him. DS14 was ticked that "Dad lied"--DS14 never said yes, he just ignored the question. I also told them that Dad will likely ask again (at which point they said "We said no!"). I reiterated that it was perfectly fine to say no, but they should be prepared to have the discussion again in case they're talking to him and he brings it up again. I didn't want them to be blindsided. (Frankly I think they'll just avoid talking to him. THAT'S what's unfortunate. XAH may never see what this is all truly about.)
Relatively little drama.
And my heart only raced for a minute while I opened the email...then stopped when I remembered that I have control over my life, and so do my kids.
It IS possible...so hang in there and keep fighting for your power.
One month. Lol.