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Old 10-03-2016, 05:53 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
August252015
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you're here. There are a lot of things I could say to pick apart your posts- concerning things- instead how about this:

Is your life unmanageable, causing you problems because of your choices, leading to feelings you hate? Sounds so. Does focusing on what you may or may not have done help you to know what to do now? Probably not. You know what you need to do.

Concerning not being on meds and suffering the panic/anxiety, as well as being bipolar....are you under a dr's care? If the actual dx has been bipolar (like BPD was for me), then care and most likely meds might be an excellent plan- can you seek help for that and at that level of attention now? IMO, and IME, we do not have to "get through it alone" when we need counseling, drugs, etc. Now that I am sober, my BPD dx is largely irrelevant, because my behavior and emotional state is entirely different .... thanks to my sobriety. I do continue to take one med related to mental needs, and probably will indefinitely because if it is one effective tool in my toolbox, why not.

We can all justify "slips" or "just a couple of times" etc etc and we can keep drinking and killing ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

Or, we can accept that we are alcoholics, choose to never drink again, and live an entirely different existence.

It truly is better on this side, in every possible way. I hope you decide to quit drinking for good. You can do it.

Now sounds like the perfect time for AA and to call a dr. Good luck.
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