charx- It's nice to meet you.
I have found this part of the AA Big Book very helpful whenever a thought of drinking creeps in..... and when my mind tries to trick me into thinking I can control my intake and I'm "cured". Don't give up!
“Chapter 3
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.”
Excerpt From: AA World Services, Inc. “Alcoholics Anonymous.” iBooks.
https://itun.es/us/iilpV.l
All Big Book quotes from 1st Edition.