I read some replies and skipped some so I'm sorry if someone has already said something like this. But a while ago, I was reading some stuff about cheaters, and this was before I knew really about my boyfriend's alcohol problem etc. It talked about why cheaters cheat and the one thing that sent up a red flag was a statement about impulse control. Cheaters can often have problems with substances because they are by nature or nurture (who knows) not good with impulse control and seek out instant gratification or instant pleasure. Without giving much thought to future repercussions. So it is possible certain personality types cross over. But I think it would show in other aspects of life too. PLUS I think this was more about known cheaters having the impulse problem and it's not necessarily the other way around. So in summary "cheaters may drink or do drugs too" which isn't the same as saying "drinkers may cheat". If I could draw a venn diagram with the circles overlapping, then there would be a section of alcoholics, a section of cheaters, and a section of alcoholic-cheaters.
Alcoholics have their own set of causes that lead them into their spiral. That being said there's also shame with a lot of alcoholics and that can lead them into doing things to "make them feel better" and soothe their guilt.
I am so not helping am I?
In the end, I think the reason someone cheats is pretty damn important. But that might be what a sex therapist or a couples counsellor would say to a couple who wants to repair after cheating.
Okay, I should go, before I make things worse.
Hope I didn't do too much damage.
Stick around, Champ :-)