Back story on Dd's to cut a long story short....3 of my dd's are narcissistic. They are very me, me, me. Very entitled, very cold and cruel. They spent time working out the best ways to hurt me ( and others ) as I have become a focus for their meanness. They bully my other adult children and have access to them all the time as two live with them . Until they all decide to go separate ways things won't improve but at the moment they rent a house together. Every single thing is reported back to them. They phone my sons who have no guile and glean information. When they visit when I am out they go through my private stuff. Their latest dummy spit is over exah moving near us. I have had my dd's ranting that they don't want the boys living with him. Their motive is not that exah is likely to regress but they want me looking after the boys, alone, unsupported and away from people who love me cos my being unhappy makes them very happy. They said "You are old and have never had any life so why do you think you can have one now? " Well I can.
My boys are not stupid and I know I have to let them decide for themselves where they live. I have been over to Germany several times over the past few months and each time they have looked after the flat, cooked food, made sure the cats were fed and done laundry. They know who to call in emergency and they were safe. They are adults now. I feel better you are all supportive of this move if they decide to go.
It's not about me moving to another country but it's about me having options to do new things knowing they are happy. Their dad has finally stepped up and I think it will be great for them to establish a relationship with him. They never lost faith in him when the rest of us did.
Health wise I will need an op in the not too distant future. I've put off going for scans as I knew this was the outcome and I have no one here as back up until my ex moves here. I am in a lot of pain now tho so the time is coming.