i did the clonidine, flexiril, trazodone and low dose xanax the last time. it REALLY helped. but, at that time i was no where near the doses of drugs i am doing now. i no longer even feel the effects from 30 mg morphine at one time....so i know i need help this time before i accidently overdose. the only effects i feel after a good dose of morphine or several percocet is the fact that i get wound up....i cant stop cleaning and doing things...constant movement....and i know i wont sleep well tonight if at all. i took 3 percocet and 30 mg morphine at around 6p....so...i will be up for a while. i need supervision during detox...i need to have someone that i HAVE to report to at the end of the day...or throughout the day.otherwise....i slip up. i know i am only hurting myself by not having any type of self restraint. i have a wonderful doc....he DOES check up on me. i really am ready for treatment and i really need to do it now. my daughter is going to get married...she is expecting a baby in april of next year...i have a wonderful 6 month old grandson...3 wonderful children (ages 27, 25 and 23)...a wonderful new position at work...so many things going for me right now that i know this is the time to straighten up. this all started after i lost my husband of 25 years to cancer 3 years ago...2 months after losing my 3 day old grandddaughter to a chromosomal disorder...2002 was the worst year of my life...but things are changing for the better now. i am so glad i found this website. i have had so many people send me messages of support.
thank you for your suggestions. i will keep people informed on how my doctors appointment goes tomorrow
mary