Hi Candela,
I just wanted to let you know that my story is similar to yours and I am nearly 3 and a half years sober now. After a number of years sober I drifted away from AA and eventually relapsed for 8 years. After reaching the point of not being able to live with or without alcohol and waking up to the four horsemen every morning (terror, bewilderment, frustration, despair), I had reached the point where I felt I only had two options...sobriety or death. I think having experienced a lengthy stretch of sobriety enhanced this effect, knowing how good things had been and how bad things presently were.
This time I arrived back at AA full of desperation and willingness. I guess that's what it took for me to finally become willing to go to any lengths to stay sober and I am grateful for that. I got a sponsor right away and worked the steps. And I continue to practice steps 10-12 on a daily basis, because staying spiritually connected to my Higher Power is what keeps me sober in the long run!
I just wanted to let you know that you can do this!
