Things take time to get better. I'm at 15 months sober and things are just now coming together. I think it is unrealistic to expect things to fall into place in a few months. Drinking certainly is NOT going to help at all. So you're going to consider suicide because you lost your license? Wow. I think you'd be a lot happier if you practiced some gratitude. Look around you and I am sure you will find a lot of things to be grateful for.