It was almost 6 months of complete sobriety. Then just last Friday, I hadn't seen my good friend in awhile & thought I could have a "couple" (eye roll). 7 hrs. later, found myself in another dangerous, compromising situation. I just am at my wits end. I'm going through a divorce and will soon be on my own. I'm scared as hell, & am scared I'm going to start filling my empty nest nights with possible nights out with friends. Friends that really do not understand the severity of my problem. I have 2 friends in particular that are just like "you just need to learn self control!". I'm like, ummmm, if I knew how to practice self-control, I would be doing it!!!
I really need help & am not sure what to do. Because I have NO PROBLEM not drinking when I'm at home. It's the going out that's a problem. And I'm afraid of not going out for fear of being alone I think. I mean, we have 2 beautiful girls I will have most of the time, but what about those evenings I'm like "woohoo! It's Friday! Let's go out!"....I'm scared to be honest. I mean, I'm a MOTHER who needs to stay ALIVE for these girls! I make extremely poor choices when I'm drinking, and have no control apparently.
I even looked up recovery places. But like I said, I don't usually drink! It's literally like 2 - 3 times a year!
I'm at a loss. Truly. Cuz now, I'm more scared of being alone and how antisocial I will have to be by NOT going out every once in awhile.
Does anyone have any advice?
I was almost 6 months! And I've even gone YEARS when my daughters were super young. Like I said, it's my newly single status I think is making me anxious. Btw, the incident was last Friday, so I'm, I guess 8 days sober (since I was out all night till 4 in the morning
. My plan was 2 or 3
So frustrated with myself and the fact that I can't drink normally.
I probably should have listened to my gut & came here before going out. I wasn't even in the mood! LOL, but promised my friend who believed I would be fine :| Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance.