Originally Posted by
theuncertainty 
AXH lied constantly towards the end of our living together. And it got worse after I left. I think I posted on SR before that I didn't think he could tell the truth if it climbed into his mouth and tried to jump out. (I still think that but I don't have to deal with it directly anymore.)
He'd lie about big things that any sane person would realize would come out eventually. ("No. I didn't overdraw the bank account. You must have." Only to have the bank pull up a copy of a cancelled check for thousands written by him...) And he'd lie about the stupidest stuff. Stuff that wouldn't have made me upset either way; stuff I didn't even ask about; stuff I would have never, ever known about had he not said anything.
I thought maybe the alcohol was just getting to his memory. And it might have on some of the things he'd lie about, but for the most part, that wasn't really the case. He was able to keep his lies straight and remember how they'd impact other parts of his stories. I really think he just thought everyone else was too slow to catch them. That might be more of a personality thing rather than an alcoholic thing. IDK.
Double winner here. I remember my first week or so of AA meetings a gentleman told me about how lying is so natural to an alcoholic it's the same as telling the truth. The example he gave was going out to lunch. Instead of saying Taco Bell he mentions going to the McDonald's across the street. Now why lie about something so immaterial? He has no idea except as an alcoholic we naturally lie. Once in recovery we have to spend a lot of time thinking before we talk s it's so easy to say things that aren't the truth. I don't know why it's this way but it is. The reason doesn't matter. That I am hurt with what my ex- alcoholic said is all that matters.