Originally Posted by
timetohealguy 
So it's not just making up things to fill in the blanks - key parts of an incident like "I got drunk" and "I was so drunk I could not walk" are completely edited out, then things that never happened get added in. It is like some kind of paranoia combined with denial.
So yet another crazy drunken incident during which (1) she got drunk, (2) she clearly forgot I was even waiting in the car for her, (3) she ate dinner on her own while waiting for her, and (4) she could not walk and I had to help her get to the car then carry her into our house ... gets twisted around into something that bears no resemblance to reality and which portrays me as a grossly unreasonable and impatient spouse, who verbally abuses his poor suffering spouse who was just trying to pick up some takeout dinner. Ta - da ! The wonders of the alcohol hijacked brain !
I'll add to that, that twisting of reality to blame others is really one of the saddest parts of the disease.
In that example above, all I did was get her home safely when she was drunk, and when that is put through the alcoholic brain filter, instead of "my spouse cares about me and got me home safely when I was so drunk that I could not walk - I should say thanks to him", it becomes "my spouse is verbally abusive, grossly unreasonable, and a horrible person, and I should complain to my best friend about this terrible mistreatment".
It is truly delusional, and that, right there (sadly), is a perfect example of how alcohol destroys relationships and marriages.
Multiply that kind of mechanism by however many times a week your drinker gets drunk, and it gives an insight into how delusions and paranoia about a spouse can develop.
If it wasn't for the fact that my ex's best friend told me what my ex had said about this incident, I would have had no idea that this was the distorted reality she had written to her memory of what happened that night. Who knows how many other nights she has in her "memory" that are gross distortions of reality.