Thread: Starting Over
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Old 09-11-2016, 03:11 PM
  # 71 (permalink)  
GerandTwine
Not The Way way, Just the way
 
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
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Originally Posted by JustFine View Post
49 days sober... Feeling really moody and kind of sad. Not sure why. Emotions are just all over the place. I am not considering drinking but I do wonder what has happened to me. Why am I so sad when I have so much to be grateful for?
Jess
Recognizing feelings that are moody, sad, and all over the place and attributing them to something that is NOT happening at the present time, but HAS HAPPENED to you in the recent past is quite telling.

An irreversible change HAS HAPPENED to anyone who makes a Big Plan. Anyone making a Big Plan, because of its simplicity and how it turns the floodlights of conscious recognition upon the drive to continue an unwanted chemical dependency, can understandably expect to experience the consequences of a BEAST that has been live-trapped like a rat in a cage. IT will try to get you to dim the floodlights that require Conscious Recognition of IT in order to stay lit. Then, having a direct line to your emotions, IT will get you to consider and hope to believe lots of things that support the future use of alcohol.
- deep down you "know" it's really you who wants to have some more to drink.
- the human irrationality of a Big Plan is just too obsessively permanent for you. Maybe you CAN drink in ten/fifteen years. Why not try it way down the road? Even if you fail, you will have gotten to relive that Deeeeep Pleasure again for a while. How much harm can that do? Doesn't having that plan to try drinking again much, much later make you feel a lot happier and relaxed right now, this very moment? (Hah! What does that tell you!)
- you want to Co-mingle with your brother's Beast. He's your best buddy.
- your ex can take a sip of alcohol here and there at will and never drink more. Why not try that?
- drinking is such an accepted and effective social lubricant, and you used to use it so effectively.
- you're not really an alcoholic, look how long you went on two drinks a day. You're getting better at it.
- etc, ect ad infinitum

So, it sounds like you really did make a Big Plan and IT is causing the negative feelings you are having now, OR you are thinking that you really DIDN'T make a Big Plan, and are feeling guilty again about saying you did. Well, guess what, AVRT is designed to eliminate that OR in the last sentence. The thinking that you really DIDN'T make a Big Plan is 100% attributable to IT, not YOU.

You know the meaning of I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN, and that it means you will die without having ever tasted alcohol again. Huge gain for YOU. Sad, grief-stricken death of starvation for IT.

Making a Big Plan is a deeply personal event. You cannot lie to yourself about whether you made it or not. People do lie to others about having made it, and then as time passes without having had a drink a person can eventually reach a point where they decide, YES, NOW I will commit to that plan that I originally lied to other people about having made last month (or last week, or last year, or whatever).

It is logically imossible to prove to anyone else that you have made the Big Plan. People who like to be controlled by external rules more than internalized rules will possibly hear more Addictive Voice activity in that area. "Since you can't prove to anyone that you made a Big Plan, what the heck, it can't be that important, and it's humanly irrational anyway. Live a rational life. Leave your options open for rational thinking and disputing irrational beliefs about not drinking later on in your life." This is ALL Addictive Voice!!

AVRT recommends that you make the Big Plan and recognize that any doubt about whether you really did it or not is 100% Addictive Voice and NOT you. In any case, it is clearly in one's better interest to make a Big Plan. By far the quickest, cheapest recovery of all time.

GT
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