It's as if one day I came to the edge of a giant cliff. There were people on the other side encouraging me to jump across to the other side, they assured me it'd be 'okay' , that they Knew I could do it. I wanted to be on the other side , but part of me was scared to risk the jump , I didn't really believe that I could do it , wanted to believe it, but didn't believe it 'all the way down'. Something was pushing me toward the edge , it felt like either way I was going to go over the edge, the only choice was falling off or trying to make it to the other side.
I took the blind leap the encouragement offered and wound up other side , surrounded by the others , surprised I was able to get over the chasm. Then I realized why they said they Knew I could make it, looking back the cliff was only I line I had to cross, a simple step. The chasm , the chance that I would fall was an illusion, just a creation of the AV. The illusion is only there at the edge, going (or coming) across to their side requires belief that you Can make it across, and once there you realize why they know you can, but looking back the illusion is that it is only a line, easily traversed. Once there it is a cliff not just a line, no guarantee that you will make it back to the other side 'safely'.
Best to take the leap cross the line and move forward away from the edge, forward and Onward! I KNOW YOU CAN, if only because I did and for far too long I 'believed' I couldn't.
I sincerely hope your taper is going well, but please consider that we live in wonderful times as far as medical/biological technologies and professionals, drinking and all of the volitional(and nonvolitional) aspects are quite different from the physio/biologic/medical conditions associated with bloodstream chemical levels and their amelioration.
wish you well and hope to see you around, a la MM Nothing Sucks Forever, (well ok maybe the stuff of the horsed quartet) but This isn't one of those and surely doesn't Have to
