Weird reaction (but a good one) watching someone drink
I was watching Narcos - although the details don't matter - where in a scene a lead character starts to drink heavily. Close ups of the whisky. Another one. And all I could feel was ... a headache coming up, nausea, the feeling of being locked up in my own head. Just like back then.
What once would have been a trigger, or at least give a pang, now just gave an unwell feeling. And this wasn't my mind talking, this wasn't my rational me. It came from deep down, almost like an anti-trigger.
I don't know how I got to this stage (well, I know all that I did, all my plans and backup plans, sure, but I don't know how this particular "click" came about), and I know it doesn't mean I'm cured or home free or anything, but it sure is a promising reaction. It's not just thinking it through, it's feeling it through. Wonder if this sounds familiar to some of you?