Dee, it either works or it doesn't. Yeah we're going to slip and what not, but there's a clear way to see if people are going to make it or not. I mean there are statistics out there. Something like 80% relapse within their first year. Not good reading. I just can't be bothered with it any longer. I'm completely owned by this **** - If it was going to work, it would've worked first time. This is coming from an engineer who knows logic. I also 'get' emotions - Don't tell me I don't know what emotions are after 10 years, at least, of similar **** to this. As I said, Dee, I've been stopped since I slipped last week. I can stop, but I can't stop for long. Who the **** is stopping me from just doing it again? No one right?? Exactly. I'm not having a go at all, please don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to get my feelings out. No one is stopping me from doing it again "but me". I don't trust me, therefore I don't even trust my life on this earth any longer. Sooner or later something will come along and that'll be it.