Trafficlights,
it's not helpful, i think, to obsess about this after you've spoken with the other person and been forgiven by them.
i don't know about forgiving ourselves. i don't really understand the concept. what i do understand is accepting.
accepting that i did those things, and that it was i who did them.
doesn't matter if it was "the real me" or the "alcohol-driven me" or the "not-the-real-me me" or the "fake me".
i did those things.
my job is to take the steps to do whatever is possible for me to do to make sure i don't do stuff like that again.
in my case, that meant at the very least quitting drinking.