Originally Posted by
hope778 
anchoredbylove -- I understand. When AH first came out about his drug addiction, we were (obviously) strapped for money. Treatment centers (obviously) cost money, and lots of it. His mom could tell me much of the back story, about how she felt for a while that something was going on, didn't know how to tell me, (keep in mind she - and many others in his family and in our "friend" group - decided to never mention anything to me) we got married, pregnant, blah BLAH. And instead of helping even in the slightest financially to get him into a clinic, she bought a new dog. Guess who stepped up and helped? MY parents. Livid doesn't even begin to describe how I felt/feel at times.
Now she cares, worries, texts, etc. Yeah, that is a wound of mine that is still needing some healing.
My advice, is to allow yourself to see right through it, don't step in the middle of him and his family (as others stated above) and continue to work on YOUR recovery.
I can related all to well to you, his mom didnt know much of his addiction though. She just claims she saw a difference in him over the years. I knew he dabbled in drugs before us, I've been friends with him since we were 7, and its 20 years later now. I thought we had a firm understanding i did not like. nor want to tolerate drug use. Occasionally smoking pot was fine, that didnt bother me. But obviously it grew into other things and it snowballed down to where we were before rehab. His family is great, but they think they know whats best for him. They hardly even know him. And they blame me for ruining their relationships. I literally dont have anything to do with how often they talk, meet, etc. I know i need to work on my recovery but i just feel i need this resolved to continue with our life. I'm over all of the awful things that have happened between him and i due to his addiction as long as he continues to put in the work , which hes been very avid about doing. I just feel him and i would have so much stress relieved if he just told them how he felt and built healthy boundaries like his counselor suggested. Stay strong!