Originally Posted by
Ann 
Okay, since you invited a response....I think you are micro-analyzing people here, people you don't even know and whose stories are unknown to you.
I'm sorry you took my post personally.
You are throwing labels and behaviour generalizations unfairly at people who have been working a program of recovery for many years and who have found serenity, peace, a healthier way of living, and the ability to choose what is and is not a healthy relationship and make a choice to detach or not.
Yes, I was generalizing. Just that.
Generalizing. And it's not unfair. It's not one bit unfair. I wasn't suggesting snatching the rug from under friends and family.
You have a whole bunch of choices where to post here, many many double winners post on several forums.
I appreciate diverse opinions, and we'll avoid getting into statistics which for this recovery website would be impossible to prove anyway. Overall estimated abstinence statistics for addicts working traditional programs just for substance abuse are grim.
I just can't see dividing us further when our diversity has always been embraced and handled by fair and supportive responses, no matter what our specific circumstance.
I don't see evidence of diversity in the titles of the codependency forums. If I didn't
know there had already been a plainly titled codependency forum here previously, I would have never posted this thread. I already hedged because I didn't know where I fit. My Dad isn't addicted to any substance, and I ended my addiction approximately 10 years ago.
As far as division, I see a men's forum marked "private" and I see a women's forum marked "private". I think a similar approach would avoid a lot of hurt feelings in the event that a forum was created for Addicts and Alcoholics of Enablers and Friends and Families of Addicts and Alcoholics as well. Division sometimes has its place.
I say the above respectfully, you asked and I answered honestly and from my own years of experience here.
Sorry to disturb your comfort zone my dear. Please don't take my post personally - it wasn't intended to single out any one individual as different people work their programs in different ways. It's just base reality.
Personally, I have drawn ideas and concepts from many different programs in achieving my abstinence, including 12-step programs, and will do so in this situation as well. It's that "take what you can use and leave the rest" concept.
As an aside, I have a passing interest in sociology. The other day I went to Wikipedia to read their sociology page. There are 103 branches of sociology listed. Today it dawned on me that there is not a single one on recovery communities. It is a fascinating avenue.