Hi Undies
Kopfan - It sounds like you're making nice progress and seeing the cumulative positive effects of sobriety in action.
Like Saskia, and many others, my work in recovery is ongoing. I was invited to a cocktail party last night. I have fun at these get togethers. I like hanging out with people, mingling, laughing, sharing stories, etc., but I had to make a plan to be sober.
I went into the evening choosing to be a sober person. I go with a drink in my hand. I've found that people don't offer me drinks when I've got a big cup filled with coffee or seltzer.
Second, I planned to say "all set" first when invited to drink, follows by "no, thanks" then if they insisted "I don't drink." Usually "all set" is enough but I didn't know this crowd well and sure enough a couple of people were pushy with shots and other novelty drink treats.
Third, I planned to not let that throw me off course. They mean well; they are trying to share the fun. I owe it to myself, though, to do what's right for me, stand my ground, and say no. It was a great night, and I'm grateful that I can remember everything the next morning.
There was one guy there who was drunk to the point of being incomprehensible after 1 or 2 drinks. It's a stark reminder of what active alcoholism looks like.
When I was active in my addiction last night would have annoyed me because I would have had to moderate, but here's no telling if I would have ended up keeping that promise or losing control. If I kept that promise I'd have felt frustrated from missing out on my buzz the whole night. If I lost control I would have had to listen to my husband list everything I did that embarrassed me and annoyed him. I would have had to backtrack my conversations to piece together what I said. I would have lost most of today in a hangover.
Being a non drinker doesn't always get me invited back to these types of things but in recovery I have so much more. I have real joy, peace, happiness, and serenity that comes from a clear conscience from doing the right thing.