Originally Posted by
zjw 
yeah I'm a target for my shortcomings being used against me. if anyone knows how to come accross as week by apoligizing directly or indirectly for some aspect of myself that i feel unconfident about its me ! it gets me every single time.
and as i've gained confidence in sobriety. there are some folks that still just cant wait to use me or my short comings as a foot stool to prop themselves up with.
IE remind me of some prior mistake or personality flaw so i cower and then they stomp. Its sadly a tactic many use in todays society to gain the upper hand in relations.
it doesnt have to be about alcoholism either could be any kind of aspect that your feeling unconfident about etc.. some folks just prey on this like magnets I dunno if they do it on purpose or are just good at it without trying or are even aware of what they are doing.
Its just something to watch out for. I know for me I had to start to figure out how to navigate these kinds of incidents when interacting with others.
This has not been my experience in life, at least not while I've been sober which, today, marks a total of thirty years. I work with many different people each day, have interviewed and worked with thousands -- yes, thousands -- of people from all different backgrounds during the course of my career. The perception that people are out to get us is -- for whatever reason -- both overblown and misplaced. And why would I be concerned about such a thing if it were true?
It is only we who can undermine our confidence and our thoughts and feelings about ourselves. The conviction that it is other people or some other force outside ourselves that cuts us down to size, or at least attempts to do so, is the cutting edge for people who are stuck in this belief system.