Thank you guys!
The problem for me is that I've been drinking seriously a relatively short period of time. Daily for only about a month and 1/2. Weekly maybe for about a year or so. Before that I drank off and on at family get together's and the like and would get black out drunk once in a long while. But drinking to the point where it was clouding over everything only started in the past 6 months or so.
My emotional struggles have been MUCH much longer in duration and sometimes severity. I've been pretty depressed for most of my life, sometimes to the point of contemplating suicide, though never an attempt.
So unlike for some who have been drinking for 10+ years for example where they struggle hard to emerge from a fog into an anxious haze and don't know what to expect. In my case a lot of these feelings are very familiar. I have no doubt they are being heightened by the withdrawal from the alcohol, but I am not confident that I will end up being happy, as depression has been my default mode for decades, even without alcohol or substances. For me it's choosing the lesser of evils. And realising that IF I am ever going to be happy it's going to have to start from a place of sobriety, I don't feel that I'll likely feel good soon just from quitting though. I may feel worse.
One other thing I did tonight that helped, other than pour out the beer, was ringing my father up and go out to have some late night fast food. Not healthy food, but better than nothing. Was feeling desperate, needed some human contact. Even if my parents trigger me often they are also great sources of comfort. It's good I chose to do that as I feel much calmer now.