Hi All, newb here. I'm an alcoholic male who's been in relationships with alcoholic females. I've found that alcoholics can often be desperate for validation and attention from their partners. I'm guilty of it. When my partner is acting desperate, I've found it to be ugly and claustrophobic. I think it's wise to step back, observe your thinking and hold no expectations of your partner. Even if you're in a committed long-term relationship, bad things can happen. As an alcoholic, these bad things can jeopardize my sobriety, which means it's a matter of life and death. I've found that these so-called bad things are events that don't live up to my expectations and internal timeline of how the relationship should be progressing. What I'm getting at is that it might be a good idea to practice acceptance of uncertainty. Don't try to fight that feeling of anxiety, but be present with it. It's difficult, and I struggle with it, but I've found tremendous things happen in my relationships, either romantic or not, when I come to terms with the idea that I cannot control or influence the other person's behavior. Things will either happen, or they won't. And I need to be OK with that if I plan on living a sober life.