Originally Posted by
Ann 
I will say this as tactfully as I can, you know I care...not having boundaries, not protecting our own body, mind and spirit with boundaries that will keep us healthy and safe..is a huge obstacle to recovery. It sets us up to be doormats and leaves us "reacting" to their words and actions instead of "responding (or not)" with what is healthy for us.
YoursTruly...take a read of your posts in this thread and see how many times you are anticipating what someone else will say or do or react to a situation. That leaves you very vulnerable when things don't unfold as you anticipate...or when they do.
Why not decide what is healthy for you, what brings you peace from all of this, and then do what you need to do to take very good care of yourself?
All the analysis in the world of somebody else's behaviour won't help you deal with your own until you come to accept that the only person you can change here, is you. You are worth the effort it will take.
You are right, Ann. Thank you for plucking some subconsciously driven thoughts / behaviors and putting them into perspective.
I'm sure that when I get into therapy it will help a lot, but she's a new therapist and in a way it's discouraging for me because it will take a while to get her up to speed. And then, my sessions will only be every couple of weeks or so.
It's funny. . . .when I called to set up an appointment on Monday, I had so much on my mind that when I was leaving my message I said "Have a nice weekend!" So I have a lot of homework.
I have another therapist whom I will be seeing on the 18th, but those sessions will be about every 6 weeks, and her primary purpose will be arranging other kinds of outside services and seeing where I'm at; kind of like case management.
At the end of the day I think boundaries would be a good idea if for no other reason than it would probably keep me out of trouble in other areas of life and with other types of people.
I believe that what will bring me peace is acceptance that he won't change. There's more, but I haven't figured out what it is.
I do recall that there is a serenity prayer somewhere that was rewritten just for us heathens, lol.