If you have decided you want the misery to stop and are willing to go to any lengths to make that happen, get back to AA, find a sponsor, and take the 12 steps to recovery.
It could be that you feel hopeless. That is a major PLUS for the transformational recovery that AA program offers. The knowledge that I had nothing left to loose and everything to gain helped enormously.
Conversely, my ego and pride(false) were major barriers because they wouldn't let me do what needed to be done. When they were destroyed (by the booze)and I was in that positon of helplessness, those were the circumstances that allowed permanent recovery.