other thing too is like i look at recovery and all i went through and still go through and think its like one big spanking / firm reminder not to do that again. and once in a while i think hrmm maybe i should go have a drink and i think do you really wanna go through that all over again? are you insane? and of course the drunk it me is like yeah pff it wasnt so bad i got this. But the sane rational me is like yeah right your NUTS dont do that again you fool etc....
drinking was a pretty insane thing for me. drink myself to near death each day only to wake up feeling like hell a few hours later eager to do it all over again ::facepalm:: and its like but but you almost died and its like but i didnt *cracks another beer open* it was nuts!