Think about it from another perspective tho. Many go through what you've gone through and end up a statistic. Yet here you are with 7 going on 8 months of sobriety. and yeah I know its not like life is suddenly friggen grand. But like you said it doesnt all happen over night and 7 going on 8 months sobriety given your circumstances and situation is pretty stinking amazing in and of it self.
I know I mentioned i started learning to play the bagpipes. well i recently read a story about a guy great pipe player etc.. 41 years old kills himself after his long battles with alcoholism. The story sent chills up my spine in that i'm only 39 and yeah if i kept on down that road that kinda thing coulda been me!
its hard sometimes tho because we want everything over night and sometimes it just seems like its not getting better or never will etc.. But its a process is all.
Look at me with this bagpipe I can get so discouraged that i didnt pick it up and become an instant sensation. Yes seriously!! then i have to remind myself that that kinda thinking is nuts learning to play is work takes time and practice and effort and its gonna be hard sometimes and its gonna be great some times Life isnt much diff.
Even in my garden I see insects that ruin stuff but other insects that eat them. I see bees that might sting me but also will help polinate things. I see some wild plants that might kill me some wild plants that are gonna be awesome for me. I see some plants get ruined by critters but they gotta eat too etc.. I see all the ups and downs in there and i'm like well it is what it is and its all good in there its easy to see it on a smaller scale like a garden or playing the istrument. its harder to see it tho when we look at our whole lives etc. or just life in general.