Yes I totally get that. Once I had to get real about my husband, I had to get real about my mother.
I loved my mother. I love her today (she died many years ago - before I even met my husband). I considered her an excellent and loving mother with a nice childhood. We were very close. Yes I had to re-look at some memories. Others were not more comfortable exactly but made sense in the framework of a drinking problem so I could come to terms with them. Its hard stuff.