Welcome to the forum.
I can relate a little. I was mostly a binge drinker since my late teens/early 20s in college. It seemed ok cause I thought everyone was drinking in college. It wasn't ok, but I wanted to believe I just enjoyed drinking a lot every now and then. Looking back, I was drinking alcoholically from a very early age, justifying it because of the college culture. I was addicted.
I wanted to believe that, because it wasn't daily drinking, somehow I still had choice in the matter.
I'm not much older than you are now. I came to SR and stopped drinking for good at age 35. You can do it too!