hi JustFine
i didn't realize you were Jess until i saw your post in the other thread.
i haven't responded here because....well, frankly your initial phrase "there was a flaw in my Big Plan" stuck with me and took me back to my own issues with the concept of "make that commitment to never drink again and follow through" which ultimately i couldn't make work.
it's a simple thing, this BP, and there is no flaw in it as far as i can see.
it's rational, reasonable, simple.
the flaw isn't in the plan.
it's in us sticking to it, by making a diifferent decision at some point.
the reason why we make a different decision at some later point....well, there's lots of ideas and different experiences on that.
some say their reversal was freely chosen. others speak of triggers...for myself, i see that as part of addiction; compulsion. which i believe has "irresistible" in the definition .
so the concept of the BP isn't a useful one for me when people end up drinking regardless.
Jess, i've wondered what happened to you, and i'm sorry to hear you went back to drink-horror, but very glad you're pulling out of it and that you've shown up here again.