I am sure seeking acceptance/relationships had a lot to do with it. I felt ignored and invalidated in my family home. We weren't allowed to talk about the elephant in the room so we never, ever spoke about my mom and how what was happening WAS upsetting and NOT okay. I felt silenced, MUCH like I feel now. ExA wanted me to walk away quietly and never confront him on what he did... when I did confront him he called me a BULLY. When I brought up the drinking, both my father and the ex denied it being a problem. They both shut me out emotionally. Neither let me express how I felt. My father was more overt while the ex covert and that is why I never saw it coming.
My ex was not a "nice guy" he was a passive aggressive one. My father was just aggressive. In the end I felt the same way about both. I never want to see either of them again and feel both of them owe me a huge apology, something I'll probably never receive from either.