Great thread Liz - and thanks to all the guys for participating, I've learned quite a bit from another POV.
FWIW - I don't think it sounds like you are settling Liz, it sounds more like settling IN to the New Normal, in some ways.
Like - adjusting your expectations to this relationship to include a partner that is more about actions than words. Also that it's okay for you to feel/express your love differently. Just because he isn't vocal or mushy about his love for you doesn't mean that you can't be that way yourself, when you are genuinely feeling that way & want to express it.
I think that you are doing great honestly!