So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. But I don't think you need or should minimize your own situation relative to others. Everyone has their 'things', yours as just as real and relevant, because they are affecting you, I hope you can work them out.
I think you may need to re-evaluate the treatment methods or options, talk with your physician about it?
Congrats on 11 months , please don't let the AV talk you into making anything any worse, drinking will certainly not make it better. You do acknowledge that it is probably more severe a choice than "shaving a few years off" , yes?
There is obviously I part of you that wants to be happy, certainly less unhappy. That is the part to nurture , wish you well , hope to see you around