I often wonder if my wife triggered some of my alcoholism. Or if my life pattern so far would have turned out entirely different if not for our relationship. I might very well still have been a heavy drinker, but perhaps it wouldn't have been driven to the same extremes in terms of a really difficult interpersonal situation. It's all in the rear view mirror of course and of little use today. But as a note to self, beware of romantic relationships if you have a dangerous relationship with the bottle already.