My alcoholism is triggered by my issues with women
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking ever since I had my DUI. And I know for a fact that my #1 trigger is issues with women. I was doing well for 3 months, all it took was one little rejection from a coworker and I went back to drinking heavily and got myself a DUI. The source of the start of my heavy drinking was due to a series of painful rejections. I never really cared about rejection or women when I was a drunk. The more I got rejected, the more I drank. Pretty soon it got to the point where I had to be drunk all the time. Now that I’ve been sober for about 2 weeks I’ve been wondering if maybe I should just avoid dating/pursuing women altogether for the rest of my life. Lately I haven’t been interested in women at all, I think it’s due to my DUI, the fact that I have no driver’s license and I have so much going on. But I’ve also sort of been avoiding them. Perhaps it’s because I’ve relied on alcohol for so long when it came to my interactions with them.
I honestly can’t ever see myself pursuing a woman while sober. If I decide to pursue women I feel like alcohol will be involved in my life, in some way or some form. I can’t separate the 2. I’ve never talked to anyone about this because sometimes when I tell friends they start giving me dating advice, and I’m not really asking for that. Maybe I’ll just go to school, get a great paying job that pays well, and spend my life travelling the world alone. The idea of having a family sounds nice, I’m just not sure if it’s something I really want anymore or something I’m cut out for. My mother says she wants grandkids and keeps saying “someday I’ll meet someone.” I keep trying to tell her I’m not really cut out for relationships. I’m not very masculine or outgoing; I'm very sensitive and introverted.
Do you think someone can be happy if they decide to be single their entire life? I feel like i'm going to regret not trying to date in the future.
I feel like our culture put so much pressure on men being successful with women, it’s all in commercials, movies, and music.