Thread: 6 months sober
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Old 07-27-2016, 06:42 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
KAD
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by 2012Starlight View Post
You're right on target here.
The following is from a post of mine from 12/27/2014.

"I live a very boring, mundane life in spite of burning passion inside. I wanna live an exciting life but don't know quite know how. The most exciting thing to me right now is my 12 gauge in my closet. Seriously. I'm not Curt K0bain."

I was blind drunk at the time, which should be obvious. I was saying and doing crazy things in blackouts. Within that same thread, some of the things I said are lost, as they were apparently censored. They might have even been censored by me. I don't remember. The week after that, I took my children on a trip to the beach, which was about a 3 hours drive away. I only remember bits and pieces of it. I do remember driving in excess of 100mph for much of the trip home. I remember the week after that, admitting to my kids, my ex, and her new husband that I'm an alcoholic. I went away to detox and rehab for a little over a month. When I returned, I managed to stay sober about a month and a half. When I relapsed, I lost my job. The next day, I totaled my car and broke my neck. I don't remember anything about the wreck. One moment I was driving, the next I was on my back in the hospital and wearing a neck brace. The worst outcome of all was losing all contact with my children, which I am still trying to regain to this day.

These are the sorts of things that await you if you give in to your addiction again. Or it could be much worse. I can't say I'm not trying to frighten you because I hope it scares the hell out of you! You well know this is nothing to play around with. On the outside looking in, it looks like a big party going on in there, but on the inside looking out, you'll soon be desperate to leave, to escape with your life. There's nothing waiting for you there that you don't already know, but I can pretty much guarantee you that it will be worse than it was before. I believe you are here now because, deep down inside, you know it's a very bad idea to drink again. If you weren't afraid of it, you wouldn't care what anyone here has to say about it. I think you're simultaneously looking for justification to do it again, and someone or something to stop you.
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