short answer - quit asking and let her be.
longer answer.....just because she is now in recovery, doesn't mean you need to be IN ON it....or "check in" with how she is feeling - you aren't her nurse taking her vitals on rounds. take the approach that her recovery is none of your business.....or like a gym workout - you probably wouldn't grill her on how the ENTIRE workout went, how much weight she used, how many flys she did, etc etc. you'd probably say, how was the gym? if you asked at all.
this is where you get to practice detaching, stepping back and not being so enmeshed. and let her feel what she feels. if she wants space. crowding her isn't going to help. if she's crabby, get out of harm's way!! try not to make this ALL about HERRRRRRR and her sobriety and her moods.....do your own thing....and treat her like you would any other person, not a Faberge Egg.