Originally Posted by
GetMeOut 
I had tried numerous ways to achieve lasting sobriety but, suddenly, this atheist/agnostic didn't want to continue attempting to do it anymore through self-reliance alone. I did come to be willing to believe in God, and through that willingness, developed an understanding, and a thirst for more, that I'd never experienced before.
Have all my problems been solved as a result of working the 12 steps? Of course not. Has it given me lasting peace and serenity? No, not always. But I have found more of that than I ever had in the past. I now know A way to achieve it, and can come back to it when I get "lost in the weeds." I never had that in the past. I had precious little to prevent me from picking up the bottle again, because, in the end, I couldn't come up with good enough reasons not to do it. I don't want to see anyone make the same mistakes I did. I hope you are seeking help because you genuinely want to stay sober, not looking for reasons you can't, or won't, and thus taking the full weight of failing to do so on your shoulders because you don't have the willpower to do it all on your own. I would ask you to consider that maybe you don't, and that's the whole point.
If you did indeed find help in God, then all power to you. I know I won't - it would be another way of pretending to get well for me. As I see it, I'm in this alone ultimately. Yes, there are ways to reach out, get support, etc. and that's
nice. But there are times when the door shuts and you find yourself alone. That's where your true colors show. Sobriety or not? I do really feel this way about it, whether you guys think I'm cynical or arrogant, I don't care about that. I'm never going to do 12 steps, read a 'Big Book/ Bible for drunks' and feel this is my way to redemption, because that's not how I live my life. I'm responsible for my own actions and don't need anybody to guide me to my destiny. So when I seek help, I seek advise, feedback, just wondering how other people view all this. I'm certainly not looking for anyone to tell me to live my life by some set of rules, or whatever. If it works for a lot of you guys with AA and so on, and you feel genuinely to have improved your lives with it, then that's great. Maybe I will see 'the light' one day and my whole attitude will change. I doubt it, though.