Originally Posted by
GratefulJunkie 
"Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright Brothers first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Had not all efforts at flight failed before? Did not professor Langleys flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac River? Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly? Had not people said God had reserved this privilege to the birds? Only 30 years later the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing."
Big Book p.51 ( We Agnostics )
That paragraph in the book is referencing agnostic thinking towards spiritual programs...however, I think it applies to what you're feeling? 'Contempt Prior To Investigation' or just believing this program can't help, without ever really trying. Nobody thought man could fly, and now that way of thinking seems silly! So MAYBE, just MAYBE, if you give it an honest go, break free from your comfort zone, try something new, ask another man for help, share your struggles in person with other alcoholics, MAYBE this thing really CAN work. And if it doesn't, then have another drink. But if it DOES, hold on for the greatest ride of your life! There are so many people - just like you - sitting in a clubhouse, or church basement, or other room of Alcoholics Anonymous, just WAITING for YOU! And others just like us! The TRUE PURPOSE of the AA meetings, is so the still struggling alcoholic can find his people! And even 6 months sober - even 10 years sober - we alcoholics can still be struggling/suffering! It's not a thing to be embarrassed about, it's a thing to rejoice in and motivate ourselves to get where we need to be! Good luck!
This AA thing perhaps just comes across a bit too religious for my taste. Even cult like. I have tried different types of treatment btw, 'group therapy' I guess you could call it, but it never appealed to me and I basically gave up on it early on. Felt it pathetic. I have always felt that drinking is ultimately my own choice only and that treatment makes no difference at the end of the day.
I remember at least one doctor telling me the same along the way - drinking is eventually your own choice you make, when sober too. And one of the psychologists we spoke to during this time told me wife she had to leave me, so that my actions after this would show whether or not we would get back together. That time only would show if we belong together or not. And so here I am going 7 months sober soon to try and win her back. Maybe it will not happen. Maybe it will, one day.
One of the most hardcore alcoholics I spoke to, when asked how to avoid drinking, said: Don't drink. Which is not an easy thing to do, but that's what it comes down to, whether you're 'spiritual' or not. It comes down to your own will, determination, if you have a strong character.
Maybe this doesn't sound well measured or carefully thought out, just wrote it out off the top of my head.