He's upset because he got what he wanted
How addicts are able to be so unpredictable while being very predictable at the same time really blows my mind.
A little background: I've been dating my ABF on and off for about 2 years. How our relationship has been lately is not how I want to live. I have mentally given him until August to show me he's committed to changing as we have a wedding to attend. I've been working on myself and detaching. I read here every day although I rarely post. I've been going to meetings, reading materials, journaling, etc.
Yesterday we agreed to meet up tonight to discuss some of our specific concerns if we are going to commit to this relationship. I, of course, took this seriously, put thought into what I'd say, and ended up writing down almost 2 pages of just thoughts and what I want in a relationship. He, well, he had a doc appointment in the morning that he was so tired from that he basically slept all day. So I knew that wasn't a good sign of things to come.
I asked him several times if he was up for talking tonight and kept getting the "I'll let you know" response. Well I could see where that was going and "played the tape through" so to speak. I didn't want to be irritated by him and let it ruined the night so I finally just said "ok well you get some sleep tonight and we'll try for tomorrow." Then he just kept saying we'll "I'll still let you know later" and then started texting random stuff.
I then said that if he was too tired to sit down and talk with me then I would prefer to just say goodnight now and not text all night. He started going off like "I can't believe you're going to start on me now" etc. then finally he just said this was suspicious since it sounds like I'm upset. I said, "well I am disappointed but I'm not going to start a fight about it. I'm changing how I used to respond when I am upset"
He said, "I don't think that'll last"
Omg. I just laughed so hard when I read it. Like effffffffffffff off! You're getting your way. Go do what you want to do! I'm glad I'm laughing and not crying right now. Progress not perfection. I think I'm getting there.
Just wanted to share in case anyone can relate because I know I always reading about the quacking of other As