Thing is, with any recovery program, we tend to only get out of it what we put into it. I sat in AA meetings for 6 month wondering when the sobriety fairy might fly overhead and sprinkle me with recovery dust. In the end that didn't happen. I had to ask someone to sponsor me and give me some guidance. Reckon it could be the same with AlAnon. 12-step programs work when we work them. And the work happens outside of meetings, on our own, on a daily basis, applying the program to all our affairs. Recovery is therefore never an 'easy' option. It isn't easy. But it IS worth it. And seeing as you're stuck between a rock and a hard place so to speak, it might be the very thing that saves your sanity, and will offer some hope of stability for your 7 year old.