Originally Posted by Berrybean

There is no magic word. It has to get painful enough for him that sobriety is the only option (his rock bottom, whatever that will look like). Do you really want to go there with him? Sounds like his drinking is already uncomfortable enough for you. He, on the other hand, has no inclination or intention to change things, so they will continue slowly getting worse.

You did not cause this. You cannot change this. All you can even start to hope is that you might be able to learn different ways of thinking about it so that it is not so painful for you. Or you can walk away, and spend your precious life (of which you get ONE) being happy without him. It's tough. But there it is. What advise would you give a loved friend of relative in your situation?