13 Characteristics of Adult Children
<HR style="COLOR: #d1d1e1" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
Because I never had a "normal" life to begin with.
2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
Because we do not know how to and usually give up easily.
3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
Because I am afraid of some truth.
4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.
Why would we have mercy on ourselves when our lives showed us none in the first place.
5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.
I am scared of the after results of "having fun" and always have been. I need to be pushed.
6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.
Why would I not when everything else in life had let me down.
7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.
This I still do not fully understand and yet earn for with all my heart and soul.
8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.
Oh Yeah. I always need that "control" even when it meant that I was going to hurt my own feelings and the ones of others close to me.
9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.
Because I never think I am good enough.
10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.
I feel this way because I know no different.
11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.
True for both. I am both.
12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
Because I need that sense of being alive even if it is not good for me.
13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.
This is where my ticking time bomb anger comes into play. I sit back and watch the ride go on as if I am locked up and can not escape from the movie of my life playing out in front of me again. I have talked my life away since I was 13. It did only very minimal good for me. I am still the same person, but know right and wrong. I fight a new battle of ACoA every day. Something different is always going to rear its head and I have to learn all over again. But that is what my life has been about, learning. I never stop learning more and more even though my dad has been gone for 7 years now. I still do stupid, irresponsible things to people I love and care for. I know where I stand and what I need to do. I have an understanding person in my life that is coming to the tired of understanding stage because of my slips. I have been to 1 meeting and did not find it as informative as I would have liked. I am too far along for the first steps anymore. That I have done already. I need to help and reach out now. I need to share and have people in my life that are understanding and can reach out too with the helping hand of compassion. I am a surviving ACoA who has made it this far at the age of 30 all alone. I need to know that there are others out there like me. Please email me if you would like to talk and I will be here from time to time.
Sincerely,
SomewhereinTime
